Rethinking Individuality
Society, by its nature, always enforces conformity. I have long strived to guard my individuality, primarily based on (1) my "unique" lifelong accumulation of technical knowledge and skills, and (2) my career in AI research. This definition of individuality has been shaken by recent events.
- AI (the irony!): Large neural networks that have been trained on vast amounts of data have accumulated and can synthesize more technical knowledge and skills than I will ever be able to, though precision and recall are still imperfect.
- Toxic startup culture: The greed-crazed AI market has justified openly demanding blank-check surrender of individuality in the name of (someone else's) "mission", enforcing unreasonably long and often pointless work hours—which thoroughly prevent introspection.
I know that I am not the only one whose individuality is threatened. I remind myself of some guiding principles.
Memento Mori
Remember that your career will end.
You may climb to the top of the corporate (or academic, government) ladder, build multi-billion-dollar startups, and be highly sought after for interviews and commentary. But there will come a day when you think your last work-related thought. After that, you will work no more. It has happened to everyone in history whose career is greater than yours, including Marcus Aurelius, Leonardo da Vinci, and Albert Einstein.
I strongly relate to the Maranasati death meditation adapted for one's career as advocated by Aurthur Brooks. Accept now that you will someday find yourself saying:
- I'm losing my edge.
- People are starting to notice.
- My output is slowing.
- I can start to see the end of my career.
- I have to retire, whether I want to or not.
- People don't know who I am.
- People don't even ask me about what I used to do.
- Most days, I don't even think about what I used to do.
Remember that you are always replaceable at work. No matter how successful you are, please do not delude yourself into thinking that only you can do what you are doing; someone else can do it even better. You just had good fortune that allowed you to translate effort into recognition. Speaking of which.
Recognition is Meaningless
Society idolizes contribution and impact, immortalizing those who contribute a lot. Many consider it their life's mission to make the world better and derive individuality from being recognized for it.
But contribution is defined in service of someone's profit, thus clearly biased. In an alternative reality, the slave drivers in the Atlantic slave trade, or the war criminals in Nazi Germany or Imperial Japan, would have remained heros for their "contribution". There is nothing that prevents the same logic from applying to today's contributions. We can never be sure if we have the right metric, and we should be wary if someone tells us what it is.
Even for broadly accepted metrics like the advancement of basic science, whose contributions are recognized is incredibly political. This truth is hidden very well indeed, invisible to most of the public, because you have to be first recognized (validly or not) for your opposition to be taken seriously. While there exist such figures (e.g., Grigori Perelman, Richard Feynman), almost all the beneficiaries play along to legitimize their contributions (more enthusiastically if they are insecure).
If social recognition is a faulty foundation for individuality, as social animals, how can we keep going? I have already discussed having a pure heart (i.e., intrinsic love) as fuel for meaning. But I have realized that there is another principle that is easier to practice.
Perseverance is the Highest Virtue
Only you can endure what you are going through. No one else has ever gone through what you have been through, so only you can understand the full details of the pain, disappointment, and sorrow you have persevered.
Therefore, you do not have to do anything special. You are automatically unique if you hold your ground against adversity, since there is no person or AI that can replicate your perseverance.
Every second you remain standing, you win. Go as far as you can with courage. Then when the end comes, you can accept it with dignity.
Concluding Thoughts
You are totally replaceable at work. But you are not replaceable. You are someone's child, sibling, spouse, parent, or friend; they will not have a replacement for you, despite all the inevitable conflicts.
Your individuality is derived from your life experiences, not your contributions to society. I do not care if ChatGPT already knows everything. I want to understand everything myself. Do not let anyone put you down, forcing you to sacrifice your individuality for their agenda.
Be kind, especially to those who are less fortunate than you. To the person, your empathy may be the greatest contribution the world has ever known.
The world will go on without you. While you are here, appreciate its beauty, as well as its darkness.
